Akiyo.nl | FAQ

"I can't help it, I'm drawn that way."

Local time in Eindhoven
20:11 (08:11 PM)

Frequently asked questions

Where does that exotic name Akiyo come from?

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, my mother saw images of a young Japanese woman in a hotel bed with a Jesus-like figure. Thank God my father vetoed Yoko; Akiyo was an acceptable compromise.

In what year were you born?

You know how old I am, and on what day I was born. "You do the math!"

Do you live at home or on campus?

I have a room in a great 'studenthuis' in Eindhoven (The Netherlands). You'd probably call it a student dormitory.

How did you become the spokesperson of Statisticide.com?

I met the creator of Statisticide.com while playing Laser Quest. And I seriously kicked his ass! Then one thing led to another...

What's your favourite food?

I'll eat anything that can't walk, swim or fly.

Do you have a driver's license?

I own a indestructible, black bike and I have a free travel pass. I have no need for a car.

What high school classes did you like the most?

Math and physics.

What's your political orientation?

I'm a left-wing social democrat. Americans would probably call me a liberal or even a communist; I'm neither.

Tell me, what's so great about "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"?

Do you have a boyfriend?

No. And the answer to your next question is also no.

Would you like to go out with me?

Told you...

So, what does your perfect man look like?

Like Don Orville, but without the glasses.

Oh, come on! You're kidding, right?

You'll never know...

I'm a photographer at Playboy Magazine. Would you like to pose for me?

You haven't been paying attention... I'm a red head, not a blonde.

Your, uh... Well, you know what I mean. Are they real?

I have no idea what you're talking about, but I can assure you: everything about me is real.

You must be good friends with Donald Duck and Bugs Bunny?

And just why would I be hanging out with a hot-tempered duck and a effeminate rabbit?

Do people often mistake you for Lara Croft?

Sounds like something she would say. Fortunately, I'm so much more than a adolescent's wet dream. And I'm a far better shooter too.

Oh, come on! You can't deny that you look a lot like her?

The differences become painfully apparent when you disconnect your video game console. Hey! Where did Lara go?

Oh please... You're a cheap Lara Croft wannabee!

I've told you before and I'll tell you again: "Croft is just a collection of brightly coloured moving pixels. And yes, she will probably cause a stir in the stained underpants of some pimpled teenage boys. But that's about all there is to her."